Chinese Horoscope Freakishly Correct
actually, this is pretty true... =\ freaky, no?
anywho...
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.
TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.
THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID
HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL
NO CHEATING!!!!
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.
DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.
IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY
1st. Get PEN and PAPER
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.
4th SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.
2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?
3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY
CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.
DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in
SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7
.
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in
SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR
LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER
Lawyer joke
A man walked into a tavern and sat next to a very attractive, smartly dressed woman perched on a
bar stool. "Hi there, Good Looking. How's it going?" he asked.
The woman looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime,
anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of
college, and I just love it!"
"No kidding?," said the man, "I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"
True boyfriend
TRUE BOYFRIEND WILL.....
- Give her a hoodie of yours to wear so other people know she is yours
- Leave her sweet texts to wake up to
- Sneak up behind her
- Grab her by the waist
- Do anything to make her smile
- Always make her laugh
- TAKE PICTURES WITH HER!!!
- When your friends walk by say this is my friend
- Say I love you to her face not JUST over the phone
- If she?s sad take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay
- NEVER cheat on her
- Kiss her on the forehead
- When you walk with her, walk slowly.
- Tickle her even when she says stop
- Don?t say I love you unless you mean it.
- Listen to her when she talks
- Tell her your secrets.
- Protect her.
- Wait as long as it takes until she can be yours =)
- But most importantly, never make her do ANYTHING she's not willing to do
Blonde joke -- Headphones
A blonde had headphones on and was walking in front of a hair salon and decided to go in. She asked the hair stylist there if they could trim her hair a little bit. He replied yes. She then asked if he could do it without taking her headphones off. Because she never takes her headphones off for anything. But the stylist replied " No! Absolutely NOT!!" So she went to another hair salon and asked the same question, ( if she could get a trim without taking her headphones off whatsoever. ) the stylist repied "of course." So in the middle of cutting her hair, she fell asleep. So the worker thought she could take her headphones off cause they were getting in the way. So she took them off. And all of a sudden, the blonde girl died!!! The worker was so confused! She put on the headphones to see what it was she was listening to. It was a voice saying, " ....breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out......"
Yo mama jokes
Yo Mama so FAT.........
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo Mama so STUPID.......
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
